How to be a tourist: Copenhagen edition

  • Wear good shoes.
  • Bring a second pair of shoes.
  • Invest in Compeed blister patches.
  • Look out for cyclists.
  • Apologize all the time when you can’t hear someone so they think you’re apologizing because you don’t understand their accent.
  • No, really, look out for cyclists.
  • Say “hi” with an I sound instead of “hi” with an E sound so it sounds like you’re saying “shark” instead of “hello.”
  • Spend half your day at Tivoli.
  • Photograph your food… The locals will give you really strange looks and it’ll brighten your day.
  • Sweat.
  • Smell terrible. Re: sweat.
  • Wear whatever you want. People like to tell you not to wear shirts with logos or designs on them in Europe. “Europeans never wear that stuff,” they exclaim, ripping your “Boston” t-shirt from you and shredding it with their bare hands. It’s not true. I haven’t seen a shred of neon (thank God), but I have seen t-shirts of all variety. I’ve seen girls in dresses, girls in yoga pants, girls with screen printed shirts, girls with makeup, girls without, girls of all varieties! I’ve mostly just seen men wearing really tight pants, so I can’t comment much on the men’s fashion. But girls: wear whatever the hell you want.
  • Wait in a bunch of lines you don’t have to.
  • Get lost on your way home when you can’t access free wifi to figure out where you’re going.
  • Sit somewhere and just people watch. It’s worth it.
  • Drink all the lattes.
  • Attempt to say city and landmark names and get laughed at. Eventually start saying, “if I try and pronounce it, you’ll laugh at me. Where’s Hamlet’s castle?!”
  • No, I’m serious. Look out for cyclists.

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My bag holds a lot of stuff.

I smell bad and no one wants to sit with me on the train to Helsingør.

Train graffiti.